Home Dazzle

For approximately the past two weeks I have been abroad, well on a car trip. We braved long hours in the car, stopping in Colorado, New Mexico, and for the most time; Texas.
It was fantastic. And I mean it too. Vacation means a whole lot more when you live on a farm!
But there's something special about home. And right now I'm in what I have decided to call, the Home Dazzle. It's when everything about home is beautiful. Even doing chores to make it look cleaner. (The chickens still don't sound quite that fun to feed but I'll manage.)
It's difficult to explain, and my writing skills are rusty. (Vacation does stuff like that.) But nonetheless I'll try.

Karen Arnold

Upon hopping out of the car a deep blue sky greeted my eyes, the stars shining brilliantly, a sight I had missed dearly. Sadie whimpered till my Mom said hello, and I soon followed, petting her affectionately.When I walked into the house last night (or rather this morning) the lights were dimmed and the air seemed hazy. The floors were mopped and the counters cleared. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. I made my way to my room, laughing at myself when I saw the little messes I made in haste to pack and get out the door. I switched my tank light on and watched my fish swim around in the water, enjoying the small current from the filter. My bed was wonderful, crawling into it in clean pajamas and snuggling with my quilt as it still hung lopsided, shorter by the wall and touching the floor where I hop in. But it didn't matter, it felt exactly like my bed feels on a regular basis, and that was what I wanted. Truly "There's no place like home."

Kiwi Banana Milkshakes

The other day my mom told us to use up some kiwis. My sister and I had a wonderful idea; Why not make a milkshake? We hastily asked my mom and then set to work. This is what we ended up with:

Recipe:
2 kiwis
1/2 banana
1 cup milk
Fill the rest of the Blendtec up with Breyers Natural Vanilla. ;)
Blend on milkshake setting. Divide into four glasses. Cut the remaining banana half into fourths, dice, put on top of the shake. Cut a third kiwi into fourths, dice, put on top of shake. Distribute to unsuspecting siblings. Enjoy!

We then got a lovely picture all together of our tasty creation distributed to our siblings. We had to take four pictures before we got one where my brother stopped looking skeptical, well mostly... Oh well. Maybe this helped boost his confidence in us.

Quiet Happiness

This past week I have been learning the sensation of quiet happiness.
It is a feeling that has become dear to my heart. Even now, as I try to find words adequate to describe it, tears brim in my eyes. These are tears of joy and of sorrow; Sorrow because I was missing out on so much for so long, and Joy because I have finally found it.
People often talk of how some of their most touching moments weren't the "Wow!" moments, but the moments that came in increments, slowly piercing their soul and healing their hearts. I thought I knew what they were talking about, maybe at one point I did but I lost it, I now know once again.
Explaining sacred things like this are difficult to do. It really is something that needs to be experienced, and no matter how many articles you read about how people have felt it, the only way you'll know it is when you feel it yourself. When you do, you will know.
I am at a loss for words now, unable to describe the way I have felt this new blessing in my life. It wasn't in one moment, but I didn't have to wait eons for it to come either, I just started looking for it, and it slipped into a comfortable place in my soul, a feeling I don't want to lose.
I see things from a different perspective. I see things people do that are hurtful, and I sigh knowing someday I will do those things. So I make a mental note of the experience, hoping it will resurface when I face it in my life.
There is not much more I can say. Commands from my fingers will not transfer this feeling to the people reading this, but I do hope that it may inspire a desire, and that is all I wish to do.
This article feels so imperfect, but it is here, maybe someday I will find the perfect words to give you just a taste of quiet happiness.

When it hurts

It is a hurtful thing when your little sister swears at you, yet your heart cries out for her because you don't know how to help her. When your older sister is too busy telling Mom that she doesn't want to give little brother a sincere apology, over something she says was accidental. And when little brother ignores you completely looking at his arm and continuing to ask a question, as you stand there with your smile stretched as wide as your open arms waiting to engulf him in a hug.
Sometimes, when those things hurt us, we just need to swallow the tears brimming in our eyes and turn around after Mom sorts things out and offer another hug and smile to little brother, acting like everything is okay. Even when it hurts.
And when you go to your room, gently close the door, get out your journal and a pen, sit down and say it hurts, that's okay too. With no one to talk to you need to stitch yourself up sometimes.
God is always there, but sometimes we need to do more. We need to do something we can see and touch, that way our mind won't wander as easily. Otherwise we get stuck in the hurt and it comes out in bitter drops that sting the wound.
But this way, I can breath again. And when big sister comes in to say good night, a smile crawls on as I explain some silly thought process about whether she should say "Good night." again or "Good morning." to wake me up tomorrow.
Then I smile and breath again, till tomorrow becomes today.